I am pleased to learn that new divorce regulations, as detailed by the BBC, will make 'no fault' divorce simpler and faster. Some of the males I deal with are unable to transition to a new phase of their relationship and wish or need to divorce. The existing structure encourages a "blame game," which is counterproductive and increases acrimony.
Joint Relationship Accountability
Most relationships fail because something has occurred to the couple's connection that neither partner understands how to confront or discuss. As a consequence, either one partner becomes dissatisfied with the trapped and constrained nature of their relationship, or one or both partners act out in some way that affects the other and brings about change. Both parties have responsibility for how their relationship came to be in a state of disarray.
Good News for the Kids
I'm used to clients discussing who will take the responsibility, and often one participant takes the blame to expedite the process, often with animosity because it's not a genuine depiction. When there are children involved, the blame and increasing enmity are very destructive, and the couple will need to co-parent after they divorce. As a result, this should be excellent news for children of divorced parents. It is also natural for them to be concerned that their children may one day perceive the divorce and the one-sided blaming as the "reality."The new reforms should also assist those who need to leave a relationship due to abusive behaviour by a spouse, whether physical or psychological.
Is it time for intimacy rather than divorce?
I hope that we can also increase awareness in society that even when it appears that a relationship has ended, it may actually be just getting started. That we are supposed to go through different stages, and that just as we explore separation and divorce, there is the chance in many partnerships for a richer, deeper, and more intimate connection, as well as a long-term relationship.And, yes, that is where I come in, and why I am developing new framework to accompany men on their path via coaching.